For Now
by Callisto Nicol
Summary: But more than that she feared losing all of her family. [NarcissaAndromeda sister moment oneshot]


Narcissa Black stared at the door in front of her. It was a lovely door, made out of wood and painted purple to match the shutters on the small house. Purple wasn't a Narcissa colour, but it certainly fit the owner of the house. Glancing down at her left hand she removed the diamond from her fourth finger and pocketed it. There would be time for that later, but not now. She didn't know if she could handle dealing with it now.

Raising a manicured hand she rapped lightly on the door. The muffled sound of footsteps approached and the purple door swung open to reveal a smiling Andromeda Tonks. Once Andromeda's eyes hit Narcissa, however, the smile evaporated and was replaced with a blank stare. Narcissa felt her insides clench. "May I come in?" she asked smoothly. Andromeda didn't say a word but turned around and headed into the house, leaving the front door open. Narcissa took it as a sign to enter, and did so.

She followed Andromeda into a comfortable living area where the baby was playing on the floor. She didn't know the name of the baby. It upset her, not knowing the name of her own niece. My, how far the Black family has fallen, she thought bitterly, to not even know my own kin. I'm so sorry, Andromeda.

Andromeda did not speak as she sat down on a couch and started folding laundry by hand. It was a measure of how upset she was that she didn't use magic. Andromeda always did things by hand when she was upset and needed time to think. Knowing she was the cause of Andromeda's mood made Narcissa want to cry, but she was a Black and Blacks did not cry.

"Well?" Andromeda spoke after a few minutes of awkward silence. "Did you want something?"

"I came to see you," Narcissa replied softly.

"Well thanks, it means so much to me," Andromeda snapped. "You missed my wedding and you missed my baby being born, but you come now? Why? What's so special about today?"

Narcissa hesitated. Of everything she had been expecting, Andromeda's anger hadn't been on her list. Andromeda had always been the calm and quiet one, never raising her voice even when Bellatrix went off the deep end. Narcissa couldn't help the tears that welled up now. So much for being a Black. But when with the black sheep of the family, it was okay to have emotions, right? If she broke down just this once, nobody would have to know.

_But you would know._

She couldn't stop a tear from falling.

"I just came to see you," she said in a small voice. "I love you, Andromeda, and I knew if I didn't come now, I'd never see you again. I had to, Andie, because I—I—" she hesitated, but took a deep breath and spit it out, "because I love you and I miss you!"

There. She had said it. She had admitted to being weak.

Was it supposed to feel so good?

Andromeda dropped her laundry and unexpectedly threw herself at Narcissa and burst into sobs herself. "Oh Cissy!" she wailed. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't be so cold to my little sister!"

Narcissa awkwardly patted Andromeda's back and watched in silence as her sister wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She didn't know how to properly comfort someone. How was she supposed to one day be a mother if she couldn't even help her sister?

Andromeda offered her a watery smile, and Narcissa felt herself returning it. It felt right to be with Andromeda. The world felt whole, complete, safe. Merlin but she missed her sister.

"I've missed you too, Cissy, I've missed you so much," Andromeda said. "When I decided to marry Ted anyway, even knowing I'd be disowned, I didn't realize I'd be losing my sisters."

"Neither did I," Narcissa answered honestly. "I just thought you'd no longer be invited to family functions, but would still be able to visit, or something. I didn't know you'd be gone for good."

"I'm sorry for greeting you like a stranger."

"You shouldn't be. I deserved it. I still do. If I was stronger I would have escaped sooner and come to see you."

"Don't say that, Cissy. Don't say that. The pull of our family is strong. It's hard to break free."

"But you did it."

"Yes, and look where it's gotten me," Andromeda said bitterly. "Bellatrix hates me and plots the death of my husband under the banner of her master, I've been kicked out of my family, and I no longer get to see my little sister."

"But you have someone who loves you," Narcissa couldn't help but point out, perhaps a tad bitterly. Perhaps more than a tad bitterly. She wished the words back as soon as she said them, though, because she didn't want to speak of this. She just wanted to visit with her beloved sister one last time and speak of happy things. There was no need to bring up her own personal misery.

But it was too late. "Oh no," Andromeda said. "You're getting married, aren't you? Mum went and arranged a marriage. Which potential Death Eater did she choose for you?"

Narcissa leapt out of her chair. "That's not funny, Andromeda!" she yelled, startling the baby. "That's not funny at all!" Tears leaked out of her eyes; she suspected they were angry tears. "That's not funny," she said again, weaker, and fell to the floor. The baby opened her mouth and started to cry. Andromeda scooped her up and seconds later the child was calm again, playing with Andie's beautiful hair. "It's not funny because it's true. It's true, Andie! I'm marrying a Death Eater! I'm marrying into pain and I haven't got a say in it!"

"Yes you do," Andromeda said fiercely. "You always have a say, Narcissa Black. If you don't want to marry him, then don't. Say no."

"What, so I can end up like you?" she shot back. "Estranged from my family and everything I have ever known?"

"With a chance for happiness?" Andromeda retorted.

"Happiness? _Happiness_? Hah! I don't believe such a thing really exists."

"I'm happy. Ted and I and Nymphadora are happy."

Nymphadora. So that was the name of her niece. Trust Andromeda to pick something so…irrational. And trust Andromeda to break from the Black tradition of naming their children after the cosmos. Andie truly had broken free.

"Stress on the three of you being together," Narcissa said bitterly. "I don't have a prince waiting for me. If I say no I'm all alone."

"You won't be alone," Andromeda said softly, kneeling down to put the baby—Nymphadora—back on her blanket. "You'll have me."

"So I give up Mum, Dad, and Bella for you?" Andromeda gave her a pained expression. "Don't look at me like that, Andie, because what I say is true. You're asking me to abandon them for you. How can you even ask me that?"

"How can you say no?" Andromeda asked hoarsely.

How _could_ she say no? How could anyone say no to their sister?

But how could she say no to Bellatrix, who was also her sister?

"Stop it," Narcissa whispered.

"Stop what?"

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it!" she shouted. "Stop—just stop!"

"Stop what, Cissy?"

"Stop—stop making me choose!" she cried out. "You're—I'm—I can't! I can't do this! Andie, _I can't do this_. You're asking me to choose you, but how can I choose you over Bella? You're my sister, but she's my sister too, and both of you are putting me in the middle! No matter what I choose I'm going to lose a sister!"

"Cissy—"

"No, _don't_ Cissy me. Do you know what this feels like to be put in the middle and pulled in both directions? I'm the youngest, Andie! I'm supposed to just sit back and enjoy life while you and Bella spoil me and load me up with advice! Instead I've been put in the middle and I'm playing mediator! That's _your_ job. _You're_ the middle sister and _you_ are supposed to mediate between me and Bella!"

"How can I play middle sister when I've been playing older sister my whole life?" Andromeda demanded. "Bella was never there for me, you know! From day one she's been a psychotic cow on the rampage!"

"Don't talk about her like that!"

"Why not? It's true!"

"Because I love her!"

Those words hung in the air as both sisters breathed heavily. The tears were back and Narcissa couldn't bring herself to care that they were streaming down her face. She turned her head to stare off in the distance and was only dimly aware of Nymphadora screaming, but couldn't bring herself to focus on the sound. Andromeda, however, heard and picked up the screaming child, doing her best to soothe her.

"I love her, too."

"What?" Narcissa turned around to stare at her sister.

"I love her, too, Cissy," Andromeda said tearfully, cuddling the baby. "I don't like her very much and disapprove of what she's doing with her life, but I love her, too. She's my sister. My _big_ sister." Andromeda paused, and it was her turn to leak tears. Narcissa didn't feel so alone, crying with her sister. "You'll never know what it feels like to love and adore your older sister and look up to her and idolize her every move, only to watch her turn dark and start to hurt people and _enjoy it_." Tears fell rapidly now from Andromeda's eyes. "There's nothing worse than watching your idol fall and realizing she can no longer be your big sister. You'll never know, Cissy, because the Bella you see now is the Bella you've always seen."

Their precious family was falling apart. How could there be any hope for the future when they couldn't even stand with each other?

"I know," Narcissa whispered. "I know, Andie, I know. But she's so proud of me for getting married, and I…I've known so little of her over the years that—and I—I'm just—I just—how can I not make her proud? She smiled at me when I told her of my betrothal. Andie, she _smiled at me_."

"With her vicious cow smile," Andromeda whispered back. But there was no bitterness, only hurt in her voice.

"She smiled."

Narcissa buried her head in her knees and cried. Life hurt too much. How could there be a right decision when every choice she had was wrong? No matter what she chose she would lose something precious. No matter which path she followed she would leave something behind.

But by following the path Mum had picked she would lose less than if she followed her heart.

"My wedding is in seven months," Narcissa said. "You're invited, but I wouldn't recommend coming."

"Will there be an announcement in the Prophet?"

"In two weeks."

"I'll cut it out and post it on the wall forever, even if I find out you're marrying an awful pig."

Narcissa barely bit back the tears this time. She didn't know what she was marrying. Would there be any room for eventual love, or would she merely be a trophy wife? Would he be a halfway decent man, or would his love for the Dark Lord ruin their home?

Would she even have a home, or would it be just a house?

"I miss you, Andromeda. I wish we could be a family again."

"As do I."

Another pause, and Narcissa took this one to straighten herself out. She would have to remain at Andromeda's house for quite a while in order to rid her eyes of their puffiness and redness. It would not do to return home in a mess. Mum would ask questions, and she wouldn't have the heart to answer them.

"You might be happy to know, Andie, that cousin Sirius is following in your footsteps."

Andromeda raised an eyebrow. "He's marrying a nasty mudblood? Isn't he a bit young for that?"

Narcissa smiled. "Not quite. He ran away from home during the summer and is living with the Potters because he couldn't handle the Black family bigotry."

Andromeda gave a soft smile as she gently tugged Nymphadora's hair. "That makes two in one generation. You just wait, Cissy. We'll take over the world yet."

This could possibly be the last time Narcissa would see her sister, if not ever then for a very long time. And as long as the explosions had already occurred, she might as well enjoy her remaining time with her sister. Maybe they could even laugh, really laugh, although Narcissa wasn't entirely sure she remembered how to do it.

"Stay for dinner?" Andromeda offered. "Ted will be home in about an hour. I'd love to have the company until then, and I'd love to cook for you."

For now she would, because as soon as she left Andromeda's small home she would have to return to the real world where Andromeda wasn't allowed to be her sister. She would return to Bellatrix and to Mum and to Dad and to all she ever knew, and she would return to pretending to the world that she was as spiteful as they thought her to be.

She feared returning to that world, feared that pretending for so long would actually turn her into what she pretended to be. She feared losing herself in the sea of others and never being able to find herself again. But more than that she feared losing _all_ of her family.

But for now…

"I'll stay. For now, I'll stay."

For my sister, whom I love and never want to lose.


End file.
